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We’ve all had those days, haven’t we? Maybe you’re feeling a bit blue because you just finished a project and aren’t quite ready to tackle something else. You sit on the couch, thinking you’ll just rest for a while, and then inertia sets in and you feel like you’ll never get up – and that to-do list isn’t getting any shorter on its own!
Or maybe you don’t have anything urgent that needs to get done right now, so you’re at loose ends and feeling unfocused. Then again, maybe you have so much to do, all of which feels so pressing, that you just don’t know where to begin, so you think about getting in the car and trying a little shopping therapy (a wonderful avoidance technique!).
When you don’t know where to begin, begin with your sock drawer
I heard those odd words of wisdom many years ago from the late actress Ruth Gordon. One afternoon after school, I caught the star of my favorite offbeat movie, Harold and Maude (a fabulous dark comedy about a morose eighteen year olds’ love affair with a lively, capricious woman approaching her 80th birthday), being interviewed by someone who was clearly in awe of her stamina, humor, and good health. It did seem like she strode effortlessly through life, literally walking almost everywhere, often miles each day, and with what appeared to be an endless fascination for life.
I remember him asking if she ever felt down or at loose ends or at a loss for what to do, and her answer was “Of course I have moments like that – we all do! So when I feel like I don’t know where to begin, I begin with my sock drawer. I take everything out, match up all the single socks, get everything organized, and by the time I’m finished it’s easy to move on to the more important things that need to be done.”
This teaching struck me deeply as a young teen and has stayed with me through all of these years. I can get overwhelmed and unfocused very easily – maybe I was just about to start something and the phone rings and I get absorbed in a conversation. Or I don't feel like doing anything, even though I know there's so much to do, so I start feeling too anxious to attend to anything important or would require interacting with anyone else. I get glued to my chair, stuck in my head, and all too aware that this is not a pretty place to be.
Make it small, make it concrete, make it visible
So I remember Ruth Gordon and I get myself started. Sometimes it literally is my sock drawer (where do all of those lost socks go?). Sometimes it is the dishes in the sink (easy to have them pile up when your two hands are the only dishwasher in the house). Or I weed a patch of garden, brush the cats, vacuum the house (the counterpoint to cats that need brushing) – you get the idea.
When you don't know where to begin, and need to get your energy and focus in gear, pick one thing that is simple, clearly visible, can be done within half an hour or so (this isn't necessarily when you'll finally want to tackle the front hall closet or organize your entire basement!), and has a specific end you can reach within that time frame.
Sometimes a clean sink or drawer of easy to find socks in matching pairs is reward enough! That energy of clarity and organization in one area often ripples out in surprising ways. And more often than not, it will create the momentum needed to continue on to getting the less mundane tasks accomplished.
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