Are You “Right Sized?”

Don’t look down; this inquiry isn’t about a number on the scale or how your jeans fit. It’s not a shame game, it’s a claim game — how you claim space in your life in a way that feels just right for you.

If you’re like me and most of the women I work with, it’s hard not to feel pummeled at times by the rampant rhetoric to “live your best life NOW!”, to “Play a bigger game or die unfulfilled.” We’re exhorted to “Lead with your passion!” {As if there is only ONE BIG ONE and by not aligning your whole life with that — or, God forbid, not truly know what it is — you are somehow living a barely mediocre existence.}

It takes a good amount of stepping back and dipping down deep to not get swayed into feeling even just a little bit less. The messages are everywhere. They are pervasive, insidious, and often wrapped up in feel good images. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live their best life?!?

Except…life doesn’t necessarily work that way. It’s not all bright and shiny, filled with epic adventures and endlessly fulfilling moments.

It’s messy. WE’RE messy.

  • We feel calm and centered at the end of a yoga class, and find ourselves cursing the person who cuts us off on the way home.
  • We adore the highs and abhor the lows.
  • We’re bereft when someone we love dies, and then feel pressure to somehow be “OK” after a month or two so others don’t feel the discomfort of our pain.

Touch The Bigger OK-ness Underneath It All

It’s exactly this sway of the pendulum that keeps us from recognizing the inherent completeness that is our core. We aspire to so much goodness, and find ourselves falling short. And we think, are constantly told, that that’s a problem.

That’s not the problem.

The problem is that we forget to connect to, lean into and trust the truth that, as one of my teachers put it, “God (or Ultimate Reality, if you prefer) doesn’t ask for our perfection, it asks for our honesty.”

When you are really honest with yourself, you have more capacity to hold it all: your wisdom and your ignorance. Your compassion and your meanness. Your beauty and your messes. Your highs and your lows.

One day long ago as I was journalling, this came out. I believe it came from the place in me that knows and trusts my Ultimate OK-ness:

It’s not about perfection.
It’s about awareness, and acceptance.
It’s about living the full expression of humanity that you are,
in all of your glory, all of your foolishness, and all of your complexity,
with honesty and compassion.

This is the place where you recognize yourself as the microcosm and the macrocosm. Where, no matter what you do or do not do, you remember that you are both one drop and part of the whole universe.

You know that place when you are in it. And when you are in it, you are exactly the right sized you that this world truly needs.

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